Before Sunset.
My partner (he used to be my boyfriend, but now he’s my fiancé, which feels too fancy to say!) has a list of movies he wants to see by the end of the year. He noted how long each of them is, and we got to work on the shortest ones. Before Sunrise was among the shortest (1 hour, 45 minutes), and I’d seen lots of cute stills from it on Pinterest, quotes and moody shots of Ethan Hawke’s and Julie Delpy’s characters making eyes at each other. I’m a sucker for a romance movie most of the time, so we sat down to watch it, but in this first movie of the trilogy, these guys are like 20 years old, and as someone who used to be 20 but is now 30 (and thus wiser okay!), I found these kids to be kind of insufferable.
Ethan Hawke’s character is pushy in a way that feels out of touch with women, at least today. He proposes that they get off at a random train stop together, even though they just met, even though he could be a murderer, and nobody would know where she was. Julie Delpy’s character, in 20-year-old fashion (at least back in the day) thinks he’s cute so goes with him, and then the movie goes on, but it’s just them having all these conversations about love and life without really knowing what they’re talking about.
Julie Delpy’s character turns out to be kind of a weirdo, which I love, but mostly she’s listening to Ethan Hawke’s character philosophize, which I found more and more tiring. I kept telling my ~fiancé~ that Ethan Hawke’s character is a jerk, but he thought he was just young, which maybe, sometimes, adds up to the same thing: this unearned sense of confidence that you aren’t really able to break down or see.
Before Sunrise ends, and I still think Ethan Hawke’s character is a jerk. I’m not excited to watch Before Sunset, but I have committed to seeing at least some of the movies on this list, so we press on.
I am bracing myself for another collage of cringe conversations about love and the meaning of life from people who don’t really know anything yet, but in this movie, the characters are in their early thirties and so much less insufferable (this might be because I too am in my early thirties, but it could also be objectively true that they are much less annoying!).
Ethan Hawke’s character, for one, listens more. Instead of bossing this woman around, he asks her if he can say something, and he lets her rant, and in this movie, chef’s kiss, Julie Delpy’s character loves to rant, and it’s a rant I’ve made myself, it’s one I’ve heard from so many of my friends, how impossible it can feel to find love when no one seems to get you, when everyone you could date seems only able to perceive you peripherally, and how infuriating that is, and how lonely, especially when you used to be a 20-year-old philosophizing on the grandness of love.
The characters are jaded in this movie, and they are angry at how their lives have turned out, even though they still have so much time. I think that’s what I love about this second movie in the trilogy, which is especially genius coming after the first: these characters are in the middle of something, and the middle is always uncomfortable. Who they used to be is behind them but who they will be isn’t fully established, and so they have to wait, to tread water, to try their best today.
I recently finished school, am, for the first time, living an adult life that isn’t revolved around being a student. I’ve also been angry with love and terrified of trust but have somehow found a great partner anyway. I’m getting married, even though marriage isn’t an institution with the best reputation, at least in my personal life. I can relate to this sense of being in the middle of things, know the feeling that Before Sunset is steeped in, that one of feeling restless but hopeful still.
Before Sunset was good to me in the sense that it was relatable, and I love that Before Sunrise, as annoying as it was, gave so much context to these characters now. They’ve grown up, they’re growing still, and, sure, in a way that’s left them a little bit anxious, but they’re still in touch with what they want—they could turn out alright.
I haven’t seen Before Midnight yet, but my hope for them, for me, for everybody, is that despite how open and confident we used to be, despite how we might tread a bit more carefully now, have our hands gripped more fist-like, we stay in touch with what we want. May we move toward it gently, or if we can remember how, with all the gusto in the world.
Image: Columbia Pictures
…
Here’s a great monologue from the movie, great rant vibes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TUbgKkn9qFw
